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Saturday, June 1, 2024

QRIMOLE – June 2024

It’s time for QRIMOLE, the series where readers ask Kpopalypse questions! Let’s take a look at the Kpopalypse mailbag for the last month!


Do you think the economics of K-pop have changed enough to warrant some nuance to your posts about marketing and economics? (Still the posts I link other people to from your site most often.)

I’m especially thinking of how girl group income sources have changed: it seems like the increased targeting of female and global audiences might have altered the dynamic a bit?

e.g. how international touring beyond Japan/China has increased enough to make a group like Dreamcatcher viable long-term without a ton of CFs, or how the college festival circuit in Korea has exploded, or how album sales have exploded so much to potentially make that a real source of income (at least for the companies lol).

I actually wish I hadn’t written some of my old business-focused posts, simply because I think that k-pop fans largely missed the point of them. My intention in writing them was to explain to people how the business screws artists, to underline how you should be caution entering the industry, and also how you shouldn’t be critical of your faves being rich because in most cases they really are not. Instead people just used those posts as a way to adorn themselves as business experts so they can play upgraded versions of “my bias is better than your bias”, fuss over the money being made at every single step in annoying OCD ways, and throw down with ill-informed opinions on every new issue that arises in k-pop. So I’m in no rush to update the information in those old posts, they can remain as accurate for the time in which I wrote them. Maybe one day, but I think a lot more would have to change, as I don’t think the changes have been significant enough to change the typical outcomes for the artists, which is what I give a shit about, NOT the fucking companies.

My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to listen to some Mariah Carey records, she obviously has a beautiful voice, but it’s baffling to see how allergic she is to perform decently written pop songs. I don’t mind some R&B influences here and there, but her songs are so slow, bland and meandering 😭 I thought her reputation as a pop diva was backed by some good songs, but this is not the case AT ALL. It’s true that the better the vocalist, the worse songs they get, but still, I don’t know how anyone thought this was okay, it’s almost insulting!
Seriously, how could an artist of her calibre and with such a big team behind her didn’t manage to at least make one good song? Isn’t that literally her job?

Mariah Carey achieved most of her relevance through the first four albums that she released in the late 1980s, and some of that stuff is a little more upbeat. But not much.  She didn’t really get noticed through good songs, she got noticed through looking good plus having a huge vocal range, those two things combined are enough to make a lot of people look past the lack of songs. Or maybe they just like that bullshit music, I dunno.

we lost steve albini recently. given how much you hate in utero, i would assume you hate the guy’s style of production (though he’d call it “engineering”), but i’d like oppar to confirm- will he be resting in peace in your books?

I don’t like “In Utero” but that’s not Steve Albini’s fault. He did what in my opinion a good producer should do – he allowed the band to make the record they wanted to make. Nirvana were creatively burnt out at that time and frankly nothing could have saved “In Utero”, Kurt was so consumed by his post-fame issues that he just didn’t have good songs in him anymore and that was the problem.

Where I agreed with Albini is a lot of the music business stuff and philosophy of how he conducted his own business. Definitely the stuff he’s written about the industry is absolutely worth a read. Where I don’t agree is his championing of blatantly false analog pseudoscience as well as just generally turning his nose up at a lot of modern computerised pop stuff just because it’s modern, computerised and pop. Overall I feel like he was always interesting and outspoken and the world of music is a lesser place without him.

So I’m taking a social justice type elective and sense it was AAPI month recently I decided to do a powerpoint presentation on all the asian music features so far. They loved it so much that my teacher included it as a link in the google classroom lesson plan for today and this message:

Thank you, Julia! KPOPALYPSE presentation is linked above. I thought it was very informative and I learned about many different musical styles/cultures……Mr. Brad

That’s fucking awesome, glad I could help!

I just watched NPR Tiny Desk concerts (for Nelly Furtado, of course) and stumbled on the TxT one. Then I was comparing the views on it vs other more obscure musician (that I’ve never heard of, but need to check out), then comparing the views on other K-pop acts, then comparing views with my local artists.
It’s actually pretty low sitting on 75k view at the time I wrote this.
I always view K-pop as a niche music, but the fandom (and the engagement metric) would always telling me otherwise, and I feel like I was somehow brainwashed by these fans telling me that gen-z metric of popularity and impact is different from 5 years ago.
Now I’m kinda lost, and curious how’s the business side vs creative side on music industry works since couldn’t wrap my head around this information. Does this youtube views have no meaning afterall?
Pls help (cuz I’m curious af)

Actually the Korean Tiny Desk channel version of the video (which I’ve linked here) has about 800k views for TXT, it’s the international channel which is currently sitting on 75k. I guess that probably reflects how TXT haven’t really broken through internationally beyond the international k-pop audience. K-pop is only really “not niche” in Asian countries, in places like the USA and Europe I think it’s more of a cult level except for the very big groups, of which TXT isn’t one. This is because BTS in reality didn’t “pave the way” – if they did, there’d be a lot more k-pop groups getting big in the west. Fandoms are insane, don’t let them fool you into thinking that k-pop is actually relevant to the average person worldwide.

Hi Kpopalypse. I want to ask do you know what to put onto CV if I am just a fresh graduate student and do not have any previous work experience? I am currently trying to write the CV but all of the tutorial articles or video for reference were all “you should focus on highlighting your past work experience first and foremost” and I have not worked anywhere to have experience to put onto my CV in the first place…

Then focus on your academic achievements instead. Also focus on anything you might have done outside of academia that could translate to a work place. Done any volunteer work? President of a school club? Acted in a leadership role of any kind, doing just about anything at all (including the dreaded sportball)? Won a competition for something impressive that screams “gosh what a hard worker/smart person”? Done anything that shows that you’re a “very responsible individual” like childcare, caring for the elderly etc? Those are the things you’re looking for. If you don’t have anything like that, go do some volunteer work. Doesn’t have to be a lot, just a few hours a week somewhere. That’ll get you 1. something cool to put on your resume AND 2. you’ll get to know staff there and you can use them as a job reference who can vouch for you as a hard worker who turns up on time etc. It helps if it’s a field related to what you want to do in life, but even if it isn’t, something impressive-sounding will do. Good luck!

hi Kpopalypse Oppar it’s me again the one who asked you about writing CV questions. I apologised that I forgot to add another question. The question was that whether I should wait and apply for a position that I’m confident I will do good in (my skills can satisfy the requirements of the job description) or I should just jump onto whatever position possible so I can quickly gain experience? In addition, if I have to wait, what activities should I do in the mean times so I can have better things to put on my CV?

Last part of this question addressed above. As for the rest of it, yes just get any job you can for now, and once you’ve got it, you can continue the search for something better. Obviously having that starting job serves you well for your resume. Don’t think a shitty entry-level job will be a problem, far from it. Showing that you have what it takes to work some job that sucks ass is something that employers often value, it says “here’s someone who doesn’t mind hard work”, valuable when looking for something better.

hi! partial vent, partial question. I am a 2018-era orbit, lived through so what, november 25, 2022, etc. so ive seen shit. ive seen them as a whole grp once, loossemble (ugly, UGLY name btw) once, and artms soon. in summary, i know my loona shit.

“Lived through so what, november 25, 2022, etc. so ive seen shit” is definitely a quote for the ages. You should tattoo that somewhere. But go on…

what pisses me off rn is how many people love to keep pushing ot12 on the four subgroups. Now i truly don’t think they hate each other, but i find the constant “omg when’s ot12 happening” under all four post-bbc acts kind of annoying. Yes, some of the companies feed into it. One literally has loona in the name (for better or for worse, i’ll forever hate the name). One has the ex-creative director as CEO. Yves is promoted as “LOONA’s Yves”. All of that makes sense because if they didn’t, how would the general public even know who tf these people are? but trying to tie it all back to omg ot12 ot12 loona’s X seems so unfair to all of them as artists. Let them breathe! Let them have space to grow first! They’re all doing their own thing, and that’s naturally going to attract different types of people, and it’s going to be hard to support all 4 of them, esp financially! I, for one, don’t follow chuu vs all the other members, and that’s fine? I just dont vibe w her music. I don’t hate her, but i’d rather she do all that than be under bbc’s debt trap again.

Sometimes i do feel bad for them. Of course they can’t say “oh i’d rather focus on my own vision for now” bc orbits would riot lolz.

I am 21 now. I moved away from all my HS friends for college. I’m still in close contact w them, but i don’t expect us to be tied to one another like before. That’s just a consequence of having my own path, even if HS ended less than favorably bc of covid lmfao. Id get it if it were younger ppl spouting this halcyon days bullshit but im surprised even older fans are on this. What do you think about this?

I guess that’s why people have school reunions. I’ve always been allergic to nostalgia personally, I’m always thinking about the future, not the past. I’ll look back at my life later on when I’m about to die, until then I intend to just keep doing a lot of stuff and moving forward. However I’ve learned that many other people love nostalgia. I’m not sure why, my idea is that maybe they really did live their best lives when they were younger and now they’re just going through the motions, but that could be me misreading it, I don’t know in reality. I mean sure part of me would love to see OT6 T-ara but at the same time, I also kind of would rather see something new than something old. I’m always searching for the next thing to get excited about. I don’t listen today to the music I listened to as a teenager. Most other people my age are not like me in this respect, they still love the same music from when they were growing up and listen to little if any new stuff. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m with you on this and I don’t understand cunts either.

In memory of Cherry Bullet’s disbandment, can you please do a rating of my favourite Cherry Bullet b-side, ‘Hiccups’? 🍒

Not bad, kind of doo-wop inspired with the “shoo-wops” and the I-iv-IV-V progression. Needs more cowbell though.

Can you identify the drum sample in Gain’s Free Will? I know I’ve heard it before in some non-Kpop context but I can’t place it.

No idea. It’s similar to a lot of the James Brown drum samples that were all over music in the early days of sampling, but it sounds too ‘clean’ to be that.

I just saw TWS teaser for their new single (sorry, can’t be bothered to remember the title), can’t help thinking that it has so much of dog whistle aspect because I was quite disgusted by it?
I thought the same with Riize get a guitar MV (I think that’s what it’s called), but not necessarily with their Love 119. Riize is now in their twunk era, I no longer thought their videos are…. Disturbing.

I know boys are not your cup of tea, but can you do a deep dive on dog whistling on kpop male group? I remember there’s a shinee hello example on your old post, I’m just curious how different it is to the female one, since apparently I have been desensitized after more than a decade of consuming kpop content (especially female idols) and we’re getting a lot more innocent boys content now than 15 years ago since it’s now a trend.
I’m a (quite) straight female btw, am I not the target market for these boy groups showing their innocence of youth?

To add, I somehow remember Boyfriend, a group from eons ago, and I think I had few conflicted feelings about them, but not as strong as what I felt when watching TWS.

(Then I realized you writing about ‘innocent young boys’ is just wrong on so many levels)

I covered this here, although I did write it a while ago, a few things have changed since then (most notably the increase in BGP).

What is the best K-Pop MV on a budget in your opinion? Preferably from a nugu group.

Best video by a nugu is easily Long:D and Summer Soul’s “Spacedog”.

One of the best music videos ever made and they’re not even out of Nugu Alert qualification status. Not sure about “on a budget” though, money was spent. One thing that you have to keep in mind when watching k-pop videos, is that things that look cheap, usually are not. You would be amazed how little $100k USD gets you.

Best video that’s not quite as nugu but where really not much money was spent at all is probably Sugardonut’s “Imagine, Close Your Eyes”:

Simple and effective.

i have a lot of questions. not for you but for the pope. anyways
1. what do you predict the outcome of the hybe vs. min heejin bullshit is gonna be?
2. on a scale of 1-10 how many shits do you give about the i-land 2 show with the girls
3. how does one describe what a canker sore is to a 10 year old (asking for a friend)
4. if given the option, would you beat up the president of a nation in the back alley of a taco bell (any president from any time period. and you’re not allowed to say hitler cause thats boring)

I’m not the Pope so I can’t answer these. I also don’t have access to the Pope, he hasn’t been returning my emails about Waterbomb. The best I can do is simulate the Pope, so I asked ChatGPT to answer your questions in the style of the Pope:

I hope your economic situation doesn’t stress you too much and am hoping it improves at some point. I’m very lucky to have magically somehow gotten my landlord to like me and so he has not raised my rent whilst the other (international) students have had theirs raised. Not gonna complain about that though. But it sucks that kpop groups have suddenly now chosen to bless us with their presence meaning no kpopalypse reviews concerts. It’s a shame they only stick to Sydney Melbourne – I’m within train distance to Sydney so can manage to eat the concert cost sometimes but if I had to organise travel and accommodation I would also have to sit my ass at home. Not so much of a question as a: I hope your economic situation gets better as someone also living through this crisis and that I enjoy your content.

Cheers, I hope so too! Doing my best to not be broke. What’s sending me broke is the combination of very high interest rates making it imperative that I shovel every last bit of spare money on my mortgage, plus a recently sick kitty who needs vet visits, roof repair on house that strata group insists on going ahead with, the roofing people then finding asbestos everywhere which we also gotta remove, plus my hot water system blowing up at the same time and the new one not being allowed to go where the old one was because it’s in a “non-compliant” location so we have to run copper pipes everywhere… it’s a lot, all at once. Thanks to all the people who have chosen to support Kpopalypse recently, your support is a big deal, I am super grateful! I will continue to pay you back with lots of caonimaish content and hope that soon my situation improves and I will get to see k-pop concerts again but it won’t be this year unless the Illuminati start donating to my site.

8===D – –

baby ~~

(๑´• .̫ •ू`๑)

im jus tryin to play cool

(。・//ε//・。)

but i just can’t hide that

(⁎ ⚈᷀᷁ ᴗ ⚈᷀᷁ ⁎)

I want you

(ʃƪ^3^ )

to answer these few questions….. eottokke my maeum…

CONSPIRACY EDITION BWAHAHAHA

1.

Which idol’s face would you wear to the kpop masquerade ball?

I would be…. Magic girl era Raina….
Does that make you nervous, oppa?
(◕‿◕)♡

2.

Literally me after that video:
༼ つ ‿ ༽つ╰⋃╯

Which idol do you think has the bumpiest dong?
I’ll be disappointed if you say shindong

3.

Ayyy that’s the baddest bitch sukihana
╰( ⊹o⊹)╮
\(゚ ー゚\)
ヘ( ̄ー ̄)ノ

If you could sell your soul to satan,
which member of NewJeans would you be?

My bias is Danielle since she has that Disney Princess aesthetic


That’s all for this month, my lub

When we meet again…
leave the rubbers at home

༼ つ ‿ ༽つ╰⋃╯

1. Why would I be nervous? Raina seems like a good choice to me.

2. As if it’s not Shindong, his name literally translates to “bumpy dong”.

3. Hanni because I feel like I’d know where the best banh mis are at.

not really a question but i thinks is so funny the way we called something a POP SONG because.. what the hell of a genre is POP? at this point we all know about the “popular” meaning but the fact that we can call something like fanatics-flavor’s milkshake AND Madonna’s bedtime story both pop songs is.. something

Not really an answer but JAV Of The Month is START-037.

Now that Honey Popcorn has retired from K-pop and drama, do you think Yua Mikami has finally moved on from trying to get the most fappable video of the year, or is she still planning on winning that title?

Since I’m not going to have any more Yua source material coming through I think a new challenger might have to step up to the plate. It’s always challenging finding just the right material for the comics! I thank Yua for making it easier for me for several years in a row.

do you think it’s a coincidence that the note dispensing thing in the IVE accendio MV looks vaguely vagina shaped? lol

If it’s dispensing notes from IVE songs then that’s a vagina I don’t mind being in.

I’ve noticed many people holding up the claim that porn is the cause of the many ills in our society, citing some studies saying men who watch porn are more prone to be violent towards women in real life but… I am a woman who occasionally watches porn and I do not display any violent behavior nor do I dehumanize the performers.

I won’t deny that the porn industry has many problems, but I’m inclined to see them as a matter of labor rights. Patriarchy and misogyny inform the way men engage with the world around them, and I think solely blaming porn for how they treat women is too easy.

It’s difficult to discuss this given the moralizing from every side of the political spectrum, and it’s more frustratingly so because women are assumed to be passive, without any desires of their own. You’re not supposed to ‘want’ to masturbate, watch/read porn or be a pervert, it’s exhausting and alienating.

Ah, if only it was as simple as taking the porn away. Correlation doesn’t equal causation. Maybe men who watch porn are more violent towards women or maybe they’re not, but assuming that they are (one hell of an assumption), that doesn’t mean that if you take the porn away suddenly those men will be pacified. More likely they’ll be even more pent-up and frustrated because they’re not getting any regular release. The most violent person I ever met was a Christian who did not believe in sex before marriage, did not look at porn, did not masturbate and didn’t even so much as swear. Now that was a guy who was the very definition of frustrated and damn he was violent, always getting into fights over nothing. If ever someone needed a good fap to the Kpopalypse Jav Of The Month it was him.

Anti-porn crusaders are without exception crusading precisely because they’ve got some skeletons in their own closet that they’re hiding and trying to morally compensate for or divert attention away from. It’s always the anti-porn politician who gets busted with the porn collection, the anti-gay priest who likes gay porn etc, the pattern happens over and over. Nobody in the medical or scientific community who isn’t a god-botherer takes anti-porn scare tactics seriously.

I know you have been asked about Palestine before and your stance is that none of the parts involved were justified. I agree, I don’t think regular civilians in Isarel should have been kidnapped and worse.
However, by now there are exponentially more palestinian victims, no way around it, while most of the current israeli casualties are army members. While some time ago the argument was that they are supposedly lying about everything, now that there is proof that thousands of people are being slaughtered it switched to “Well they attacked first”.
If we put the historical context aside and pretend everything started in october, I still do not understand how what Hamas did justifies killing civilians, many of them being kids.
An opinion I see being perpetuated is that since most of the population is not dead it’s not really that bad. Even if the numbers of casualties are inflated as some claim, I still think there are way too many innocent people being killed for a war they did not start. For me even 1 or 2 or 3 innocents is too far, let alone thousands.
And I also think the “they elected those terrorists” argument is shit. How would you fucking know if the bombed individuals supported that organization? Now since America elected those pieces of shit for years we’d be right to bomb randomly?
How do you think I can get through to people that violence against civilians is wrong and that we should all try, as much as we can, to change the politicians who support this stuff?
Ik many idiots focus on random restaurants and celebrities but ultimately they are not the ones who call the shots. I just want people to at least care, even if those in charge mostly don’t.

My knowledge of the Israel/Palestine stuff isn’t great as it’s hard to know what to believe on the Internet (I’ve seen dozens of viral posts on both sides that are obviously fraudulent), nor do I know anybody personally who is directly involved in any of it or who has been there. So it’s really hard for me to throw down on it with much accuracy. Since people still want my uneducated and irrelevant opinion anyway, I think the current way of solving it that Israel is attempting isn’t going to work. They may or may not destroy Hamas but they’ll inevitably spawn some kind of Hamas 2.0 reaction in the process just because killing a bunch of children in densely populated areas (whether deliberately or just through carelessness/not giving a shit) sucks and doesn’t tend to “win hearts and minds” which is a very important part of any conflict. They’ll fail for the same reason that Russia will fail in Ukraine, the same reason that the US and Russia both failed in Afghanistan.

I hope you’re having a good day oppar.


I’m a beginner songwriter, and it’s difficult to come up with chord progressions that sound interesting. (I mainly write with my guitar and the piano, not proficient enough at either).

How can I spice up my chord progressions? I am aware there exist several methods to achieve this, but I fear that they’re too elevated for what I can really apply into my songwriting practice as a beginner. (Most of it is tricky because I end up changing the key I was originally in and it messes with my brain XD)

I only know the basics of music theory, and it’s a little bit discouraging to feel like I’m getting somewhere to then arrive at a dead end. It feels like a puzzle, and puzzles should be fun, right? I think I need to develop more curiosity… Either way, what would you say?

I say that I think you should check out my post on functional harmony if you haven’t, as it may answer some questions. I’ll probably revisit chords in the next music theory post too as it’s been a while since I covered the “dots on lines” aspect of music theory in a music theory post so we’re overdue for that. But to tide you over I’ll just say that you don’t need to go around turning everything into 7ths and 9ths to make chords interesting, there’s a lot you can do with three notes, and even two. To spice things up taking away something can be just as valid as adding something.

I’m really curious as to whether you think K-pop genre is heading in a bad direction, because lately I’ve been feeling like all the recent releases have sorely lacked what drew me to kpop in the first place. even the artists have become entirely talentless. i started out with hundreds of songs in my playlist, but now all I really listen to is IVE (all hail IVE). is it finally time to declare public outcry against the “hybe effect” that is plaguing 4/5th gen?

It’s doing okay. Both good and bad songs are coming out at about the usual rates i.e mostly bad. This has never changed much. I also don’t think that HYBE are as influential as all that. Don’t worry in 7 months time I’ll have a big list of songs for you.

Every time I think of ILLIT I just get more and more irrationally angry. It’s not the girls’ faults, but their direction by their company has struck me as incredibly bland and derivative.

For the life of me I can’t see why anyone would see Magnetic as anything more than HYBE’s desire to capture what made Cupid and NewJeans successful but taking all the unique aspects out. It sounds like background music designed to be forgotten after one listen. Same for Lucky Girl Syndrome, a song that feels so light and soft with nothing sonically or visually appealing despite the fantastical urban fantasy concept ILLIT claims to have.

My question is, what do people actually see in this group and their direction? Everything I see and hear from them sounds and feels like nothing, yet they’re being propped as the next messiahs of Kpop or something.

You’ll have a lot more fun and less frustration in life if you stop worrying about what other people think of something.

The people behind ILLIT are just doing what they think is going to work and yes it’s derivative but then most k-pop is. It’s just noticeable with ILLIT I guess because the HYBE hype machine runs fairly hot so when a group doesn’t really deliver on the promise it’s more noticeable.

Do you think K-pop idols actually sleep with regular people and ask them sign an nda? I can’t believe no one has ever told about their experience i personally couldn’t resist if this happened to me lol maybe you know if this happened before

When you go to a tenpro and ask for the “special menu” which has D-list idols and trainees on it a “don’t tell” clause is probably part of the agreement there. However most idols do not sleep with regular people because why would they when they have other idols at their disposal… it’s not just about looks, other idols are a better ‘cultural fit’ as they understand the unique kinds of problems that idols have that someone who isn’t in the industry wouldn’t get. The gulf of understanding between people in the music business and people who are not is huge, I see it every day with k-pop fans who think they’re business experts constantly throwing down their opinions on this and that in comments sections…

Hello do you like Dualipa or white stripes i personally love her latest Houdini.

Not really. Dua Lipa has the sounds but not the songs.

Hi oppar,
I was looking up the line-up for this festival. A couple of names I got to know thanks to your blog!! If you had the choice, which day(s) would you attend?

This is tough as there’s stuff I’d want to see on all four days. Also a lot of it is all on different stages because I’m not a “just one metal genre” type of person, so time conflicts might mean that even if I pick an optimal day I might miss out on stuff.

Thursday: would go for Babymetal definitely (not really a fan but they’d be great live, also a nice change from everything else on offer), Brujeria I wouldn’t mind seeing, Green Lung are cool, also Cradle Of Filth. Overall though I could miss this day.

Friday: Lovebites are a must-see and their presence alone guarantees that I’d attend on this day! Jealous now but I can’t afford to fly to Melbourne to see a show right now let alone France so I’ll just have to deal with it. Definitely see Speed too just watch for getting kicked in the face by accident from their crazy fans. Also Body Count, although I’ve already seen them so if there was a time conflict I’d skip them. Other one that looks good is Satyricon, and I’d watch Polyphia if I could just because of the guitar playing. The best day.

Saturday: I’d see Yngwie Malmsteen just because it’s a bucket list thing to do, he’s really hit or miss live these days, turning up drunk to stages often, yelling at his road crew and half-assing his songs, but at his best he’d be cool and at his worst he’d still be funny and memorable. Mr Bungle are amazing live, see them for sure. Total Chaos and The Casualties are my kind of punk music, I’d see that. Nile are one of the best death metal bands out there.

Sunday: holy shit old-school Australian punks Cosmic Psychos are on the bill! I wouldn’t see as I’ve played more than one show with them so I know what they sound like, but if you’re interested in watching Australian cunts even older than me or if stuff like The Chats interest you then this is where they got their sound from. Nova Twins there as well, I’d check them out. Scowl are decent. Overall though I think this is the weakest day.

So I think Fri > Sat > Thurs > Sun.

favorite zappa album? mine might be joes garage only because i cant stop listening to stick it out recently (stick out yer hot curly weenie!!), with fembot in a wet tshirt in a close second

Sheik Yerbouti was the first one I heard and so that probably remains my favourite, although I also recommend “You Can’t Do That Onstage Anymore Vol.6” as that’s got all his best more pop material done live on one double album.

Oppar I really like the movie references I come across in some of your posts! Would you consider getting a Letterboxd account?

Very unlikely. I already have too many accounts for stuff! I’m trying to reduce the amount of time I spend maintaining accounts etc as I’m very time-poor. However I will probably still reference movies in my normal posts.

OK, long technical one here:

So I’ve been obsessing over “My Way” from Yuqi’s latest album:

It’s a fucking perfect pop song, and I’m kinda mad that it’s not one of the singles, but the bigger thing it got me thinking about is harmony. Like, this song does almost a larger-scale version of the thing you like about “New,” right? IV-vi-V-iii in the verses, double-time vi-V-iii-IV in the prechorus, and FINALLY the tonic comes in with I-iii-vi-IV in the choruses.

So my question is: why don’t songwriters do this “delayed tonic” thing more?? Either in chord loops like “New” or over the whole song like “My Way.” Clearly it WORKS but it’s weirdly rare?

It’s especially weird to me because a related thing—no tonic at all—is kinda common? Like, even academic music theorists have terminology for it, and there are songwriting/A&R teams that obviously have it in their bag of tricks. Example: almost every single fromis_9 title track after “Fun” (“Feel Good,” “We Go,” “DM,” “Stay This Way,” “#menow”; the exception is “Talk & Talk”) leaves out the tonic for basically the whole song.

So I guess another way to put it is, why have so many people figured out “no tonic at all” but not “make ’em wait for it and kill them with the chorus/last chord of the loop”??

Who knows. Often what gets in a pop song is more about what type of thing is trending, that the executives think will sell more. Someone working with Yuqi obviously decided that “My Way” wasn’t the one. Sometimes the people making those decisions get it right, sometimes they don’t. Watch from 24:30:

Whoever made that particular decision at Sony for Cypress Hill got it right – but just as often a decision like that will fail. There’s no magic formula, because if there was, we’d all know and we’d all be megastars. Something that screams quality to you, or me, doesn’t always mean other people will like it.

Early BTS was cringe, pretty uninspired, and still not the best, but god, the songs were still so much better than their later work. The good old days of their songs having a fast tempo and a decent beat with much less of the fucking godawful autotune in their songs that make me want to wring my ears out. That said, I do get why they started getting popular in their second phase. Kpop stans fucking love their pseudo-intellectual wanking bullshit theories. Their third sellout phase perfectly captured the global market after that. It’s like Big Hit/Hybe realized BTS wasn’t working and started scientifically designing a money printing formula.

If you were to make a Kpop group yourself, how would you improve upon this formula? Remember to keep your investors happy by putting as little money into songwriting as possible! Also, I know I don’t have to tell you this, but everyone always needs a little reminder to fuck vocalfags. Find a way to get negative vocal training and get some money back.

If I had the money to make my own k-pop group, I’d make sure I’d also have the money to not give a fuck if it make a return on my investment or not, or I wouldn’t even begin. That way I wouldn’t have to do some bullshit that I didn’t want to do just because market research indicated that it might be a good idea.

If you hate J-pop music so much (fair enough), why do you so often like K-pop that’s in extreme J-pop style? I’m thinking of Grey-ish and now QWER

It’s the songwriting and production that is often the problem in j-pop, not the stylistic elements, which actually can work really well if they’re paired with decent songwriting and production. I think you’ll find that in many of my reviews where I’ve liked a j-popish song I address this question. Check out my review of Year & Class 1’s “Oppa Virus” from the “best songs of the 2010s” list where I contrast them directly with AKB48, and explain why AKB48 relatively sucks in comparison.

What do you consider as a sign that you are too horny and you have to get laid. I have been working in a new department and there is this old dude , probably married like most old dudes at work are , who has been showing me what my job is gonna be. I think he is kinda cute but to my horror i found myself looking discreetly at his fingers and having improper thoughts about them , that’s never happened to me before.

To be honest I haven’t been intimate with someone for years and well there are reasons for that, it had to do with how unstable i was in my life in all areas , so i didn’t have the energy, desire or self confidence to put myself out there. And even when once in a blue moon i was attracted to someone i just did my best to ignore or push down the feeling because i had other issues to worry about. Now somehow i kinda of have more clear direction of where i going in my life and i feel a little more stable, so i feel that the desire i lacked/suppressed came back tenfold. I kinda have moments where i feel i want to fuck everyone ? It is stupid. But lusting after the fingers of your coworker is ridiculous, he is not that handsome or charismatic. Do you think this is a clear sign that I have to do something about my horniness ?

I am seriously thinking of skipping the dating apps and start going to the sex clubs in my city , I don’t really want to go on dates i just want to fuck as many people as I want so I can get the horniness out of my system. The sex toys are not cutting it anymore, I want somebody to slap my ass.I know it sounds a bit drastic and dramatic but fuck it i have wasted so much time holding myself back because of my insecurities i just had enough of it all. How do you deal feeling like a bitch in heat in your late twenties, especially when you feel you have forgotten how to kiss people? Where do i begin and how and what do i tell people?

P.S don’t laugh , it ‘s really annoying and it is taking a lot of mental space .

Getting laid is important, if it’s something you really want to do. Definitely do it in that case, just be mindful of all the usual hazards (STDs etc). Probably a good idea to start slow. I wouldn’t be diving headfirst into gangbangs or anything, just experiment a little, see what works for you, then experiment a little more. Sex clubs and similar environments are generally not a free-for-all, they tend to have rules, so use them to your benefit. It’s probably honestly a better experience in my opinion if you’re “just horny” to experiment in a place like a sex club which is specifically for that purpose, rather than entering into relationships with co-workers where things can get messy because of feelings and emotions and work politics. Good luck!

Why do you think that mainstream music is getting shorter in length, whereas mainstream films and video games are getting longer in length? People always talk about how Tik Tok and other short form content is destroying the attention span of people (young people especially) so logically you’d assume that film and video games would follow that trend of short, bite-sized instant gratification. However the opposite is true – films currently seem to trend towards being long – Oppenheimer, Killers of the Flower Moon and the Dune films are around 3 hours long and even trite Marvel schlock often reaches the 2 hour 30 minute mark. Mainstream games have changed from the slick, ultra-linear 5 hour Call of Duty campaigns of the 2000s and 2010s into bloated 50 hour Ubisoft empty worlds filled with endless busywork. It’s weird that this is happening when everyone supposedly has worse attention spans, but it’s especially weird how mainstream music is getting shorter, it isn’t uncommon to see singles under 3 minutes or even under 2 minutes. It’s weird to me because music is the most passive medium out of the three I mentioned, like even if a song is 10 minutes you can just zone out or jack off or whatever while listening to it. Whereas film demands constant attention and games demand that the player actively engage with them. I feel like logically you would assume that a generation with a low attention span would be more accepting of longer music rather than longer films / games because of that but the opposite seems to be true. Sorry for such a rambling question lol

Pop music being short isn’t a new thing. If you go back to the 1950s, two minutes was the normal length of a pop song, there’s plenty of examples. Not so sure about the opposite trend in movies and gaming, but not everyone who likes movies and gaming also likes pop music. Pop music may be short and so might some other styles (hardcore etc) but there’s a lot of other music genres where long is preferred. So yeah I don’t know what that says about anything really, but if I do know only one thing about this it’s that popular culture trends come and go in cycles so you can bet that in ten or fifteen years from now things will be different (and people will be complaining about whatever the changes are, as they always do.)

I watched a concert online, and people commenting were complaining about the singing being off-key and mistakes being made. I feel like they’re missing the point. You go to a concert to enjoy the vibe and the spectacle. You don’t go expecting perfect performances. That’s what a studio recording’s for. Am I just weird? I had a fucking blast watching the concert online, and I feel like in-person, it’d be even more fun. Yeah, I noticed the mistakes as well, but that’s not why I was watching.

A lot of the people who comment on concert footage have never been to concerts, and it shows!

Hi Oppar! a former colleague reached out because his tech startup is hiring, I interviewed but in the end his boss went with the other candidate. It would have been super intense but probably very exciting too (and well paid). I’m really crushed, they tell me I did well, the other guy was just better.

Anyway it’s made me realise that I want to switch jobs so I’ll go on the hunt again. The tech job market is crap right now so please everyone wish me luck!

Also let’s go IVE! My girls are doing fantastic I love them

Good luck! If you get a tech job let me know how you did it.

Hi, hello, it’s me. I wrote the part about trying to get my boyfriend to propose to me within the next to years on the March 2024 Qrimole. So, I have an update! Yes, I know you said not to get married, but I’m going to discard your advice because in this country, we kind of need to be married for legal reasons if we want to continue being together.

So, the update is that while he hasn’t proposed, we did have to have a frank discussion about how we’re both planning on being married in the future. We discussed finances (shared and individual), a bigger house, and career changes affecting our location in the city. It wasn’t a very romantic discussion, but it was practical and necessary. Sadly, he toned down my fantastical wedding dreams by saying that they’re quite expensive (he’s right), and he’d rather use his upcoming bonus to help towards a deposit or savings.

Another topic we had was children, which we both know we want, but it would have to be after we marry due to legal reasons in our country.

So, we were both fairly productive and logical. The cat’s not quite out of the bag yet, though, because he would still need to propose. But anyway, that’s it for an update!

Thanks, glad things seem to be working out well! Seems like he’s thinking logically about the situation which is a good thing. A big-ass wedding really isn’t worth the money and hassle, securing your future together is a higher priority.

IMPORTANT BSH VS MHJ QUESTIONS

Hey Kpopalypse, it’s your dogjusshi HYBE CEO. Thanks for propping up GFriend’s MAGO song and dissing that bitch Min Hee Jin’s Newjeans songs, this will vastly support our cult beliefs internationally.

In order to promote our ideals even further, I will send you another payment if you put me at the top of your objectification lists this year. Another thing- can you crush AsianJunkie?

Best,
Banging Si Hyuk

I couldn’t get your links working so I removed them. Since you probably weren’t going to give me all of BTS’s profits anyway (a pity) maybe spend some of that blood-oil money on a web development course so you can learn how to link things.

Sure Bang Si Hyuk and Min Hee Jin are both bleh, but here’s the real argument: Thicc Bang Si Hyuk or Milf Hee Jin? Choose one.

Milf Hee Jin all the way. I would take a lookie at her cookie.

I can’t make sense of any of this ADOR vs HYBE stuff. Who should I even be rooting for in this cage match?

Clearly this needs a whole post. I’m going to have to write it, aren’t I…

THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Hi! I know you don’t like Jpop

Correct! But go on…

but I’ve been wondering what you think of this song? I can’t tell if it’s influenced by K-Pop or not? Also can you show us an image of your adorable cat? Thank you!

The song sucks! But you knew I’d say that. Boring blues melodies are what kill it. Everything’s influenced by everything, it’s hard to say whether the songwriters listen to k-pop or not but I’m sure they don’t live in a bubble.

Here’s my cat, in her cat carrier, waiting to be seen at the vet. We had to wait two and a half hours there while another cat had sudden heart failure and the vets did what they could to try and save the other cat (not sure of outcome but they ended up transporting her somewhere else). The thing in front of kitty is the plastic blister pack from a 9v battery container, which I was using to feed her water while she waited.

Hi, opppar! Recently read about your cat, hope it’ll get better.. This kinda made me even worse about having an urge to rant/cry for QRIMOLE, but can’t say the same thing about my cat. Even writing this makes me tremble again, even though it’s been exactly two weeks since my cat was gone. What’s the most horrible about this it didn’t die “naturally” but with a help of my mum’s husband who decided that our old cat was too much of an inconvenience. I try to move on since it was something that is irreversible, but can’t overcome a sense of guilt as if i failed our cat. I didn’t know this person was serious about his intentions of getting rid of the cat, and then like the next day i saw cat’s missing its usual place and realized what happened. If i only knew i wouldn’t have let him to take the cat away… Like i keep going in circles for these two weeks since it perished, like it doesn’t suffer at least now but did it deserve to be killed like that? Not even bringing it to vet, just “ending its suffering” in cold blood? I geniunely can’t understand what’s wrong with that person, i always disliked him but this made me to hate him and to wish him just the worst, the most painful death. Am i too hateful? I know i failed our cat by not bringing him to vet myself but i didn’t know it didn’t have a lot of time left? Maybe i’m selfish for wanting the cat to be alive but i feel like i’m being punched in my face when i realize it’s gone forever. Like some part of me still denies it’s not alive anymore because it was part of my life since i was ten (i’m 27 now). Like haha bringing stereotype about white people caring about animals more than people but even death of both my grandparents (separately) didn’t put me through such anguish and pain (i had to undergo surgery earlier this year and even quite real physical pain after it didn’t feel as bad) especially because i feel like it’s my fault too. Ok, i don’t know to end this rambling because it feels like i keep going round in circles and my ability to express myself in my already poor english only declines with each sentence. Take care of your pets people and i hope you are better owners to them than me or my parents (even though the bar couldn’t be any lower).

Well that kind of sucks. He should have at least taken kitty to the vet to get a pro opinion on what was happening. It’s not necessarily inhumane to put down cats (or people) who are suffering, but it’s also something that should be reached in a considered way and discussed with all parties along with all options available, and not acted on in the spur of the moment. Sorry to hear about your kitty. Have this bonus picture of my cat stealing my girlfriend’s warm spot on the bed as soon as she got up and acting like everything is cool and normal and she didn’t just commit a crime.

Japanese pop <<<<<<< Japanese cat

mrcs


That’s all for this episode of QRIMOLE! This series will return next month!

Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE? If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage! Kpopalypse will return!


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