Kpopalypse’s 10 most fappable k-pop music videos of 2024

It’s time once again for Kpopalypse’s most fappable k-pop video list! Those who pretend that they don’t fap to idols, rejoice as Kpopalypse gives you what you secretly want but are too gutless to ask for!

Writing educational and informative posts for Kpopalypse.com is a lot of fun, but it’s even more fun to annoy stupid people who truly deserve it, and that’s where the yearly “most fappable videos” list comes in. K-pop fans are always quick to criticise adult sexy concepts in k-pop, which is why we don’t have many of them anymore and the entire industry has gradually shifted to catering to pedophiles instead. Nothing bothers k-pop fans more than grown men and women being sexy, and there might be some of that sexiness in this list or maybe it’s just a massive troll, but either way I hope you get something out of reading it, even if that something is just thoughts of “why the hell did I click on this article, what was I actually expecting”.

10. KISS OF LIFE – Sticky

I’m starting to think that what k-pop fans really get off on the most isn’t men, or women, but dishonesty. I think that’s the real reason why Kpopalypse.com bothers so many. Therefore, while I’m actually about as likely to fap to anyone in Kiss Of Life as I am to blow my own dick off with a shotgun, they get a placing in this list for effort alone. Someone had to bring “sexy” back into the k-pop space in a way that k-pop’s social media idiots could appreciate. Kiss Of Life wheel out the old “we just love the summer so much, no, really” trick that got Sistar’s bikini briefs over the line with pearl-clutching k-pop fans for about half a decade and now because we have an excuse, we can have our faps back. It’s worth some kind of acknowledgement.

9. Eunha – Pat Pat

Unless she quits singing completely, Eunha is probably going to be doing the balladeering Christian horse girl thing for the rest of her life once Viviz folds. She surely knows it, and she doesn’t seem too happy about it either, barely being able to hide her gritted teeth as she slogs her way through this insulting treacle-fest of a “song” that you probably all forgot even existed because nobody actually listens to this shit, they just write some random comment about vocals in the comments section and then move on. Eunha wants to move on too, check out the smile that she barely is able to bring herself to make once the music ends, that’s the type of smile you make when you get back from military service but fifteen of your friends died and your partner cheated on you. Eunha’s forced posture and ready-to-explode demeanour all adds up to tsundere gold so if that’s what you’re into Eunha has got you covered this year.

8. Alexa – Distraction

While I’d actually recommend the behind the scenes video for a better look at Alexa due to the official MV being ruined by lame trendy VHS filters, I still think the official music video still was worthy of a place. I don’t know, I feel like Alexa just needs some help, I don’t think her agency even know what the fuck they’re doing with her really, given that they’ve been releasing years-old videos of her and not even telling her about it. Maybe her being in this list will go viral and she can get some more sympathy views because that big bad old Kpopalypse person is objectifying her again, but it probably won’t because I don’t have good management either. We’re both stuck in nugu hell I guess, maybe one day we can scavenge for food scraps together.

7. MOVNING feat. Adora – Medic

I’ve been playing Infinity Nikki a lot lately, which I highly recommend because of the animal patting and the wide variety of clothing styles which allow you to observe the lessons in the Kpopalypse Fashion Class posts in real time. In the game, that’s truly designed for the social media generation, you can take photos of your Nikki avatar and share them with other players, who will see the prompts to check out your photos as they explore the landscape. I always look at these, and whenever I do everyone always dresses up their Nikki like a ballerina or princess. I on the other hand always dress Nikki up to look like Adora, because I think this is the hottest look ever created for anyone ever outside the stuff my actual girlfriend does (I can’t get the look quite right in the game because all the clothes in it are “girly” turned up to eleven but I get as close to “Adora-wear” as I can). Also in the game once you find someone’s selfie you can actually take another photo of yourself with them, so I get my variously Adora-dressed Nikki in the photo with the other player and make them hold hands so they look like a cute femme/slightly less femme lesbian couple going out for a bit of sightseeing.

This is the most fun I’ve had in a computer game since the first time I clubbed the cook unconscious and hid the body in Thief: The Dark Project. Thanks Adora, even though you kind of didn’t really do anything except show up in someone else’s shit music video in your boyfriend’s shirt.

6. Ash-B – Wish

People are always thinking that I’m rude talking about fapping in the mid-2020s as if we’re living in an age where it’s okay to be sexually open instead of a conservative prudish freak. In these days where the alt-right YouTube rabbit hole is actually successfully convincing young people that masturbation is harmful and taking sex education back to the 1950s, the “fap” tag on this site that was once a harmless joke has now morphed into an important socio-political statement to the point where it’s now more or less indistinguishanble from the “trufax” tag. In this new age and context, somehow not fapping to Ash-B actually seems deeply offensive. I feel like Ash-B herself would agree – if someone actually said publicly that they weren’t getting themselves off to Ash-B videos on a regular basis, I wouldn’t be suprised if she filed a complaint for sexual harassment. She’s trying to deradicalise you, the least you can do is cooperate.

5. TMC – PEW PEW PEW

There’s been a lot of dog-whistling from male groups recently but I think TMC have really upped the ante lately and they definitely deserve recognition. After all this was the group that gave the most homoerotic vibes in a male k-pop dance music video ever in 2023, and in 2024 they’re back again this time with a “cowboy” concept in every sense that pop music knows it. Cowboys have been BADING ever since the 1970s when The Village People and others snuck gay club cosplay into conservative American living rooms under the guise of “it’s just music video outfits” and TMC lean into the six-shooter-slinging rodeo action heavily here. The “fingerbang” dance at 1:00 is an obvious highlight, but there’s other neat touches too like the non-subtle crotch grab at 1:39 and how everyone plays “queens” in the card game, but the best moment is right at the end when a Siwon lookalike turns up to “shoot” them all in a “no homo, I swear” rage, but he doesn’t seem to look upset for some reason, gosh I can’t imagine why not. Recommended.

4. AKMU – Hero

Suhyun as a corsetted princess is definitely an inspired piece of creative direction. I would have actually bothered to finish at least one of the Mario games if she was in there to be rescued. No, my princess is not in another castle.

3. QWER – Harmony Of Stars

Lots of QWER videos came out in 2024 and they all looked great, but my highlight has to be this orchestral version of “Harmony Of Stars” where QWER show SM Entertainment how to actually do a strings arrangement for a song properly (i.e don’t fucking butcher the arangement beyond recognition just so every member of the orchestra gets their five seconds of fame). Also drummer and noted feminist queen Chodan (sorry Lim Kim) is wearing an outfit as good as IU’s in “Through The Night” so there’s that.