It’s time for the first Kpopalypse roundup of 2025! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
GFRIEND – Season Of Memories
HYBE only gave this song a one-minute “mood video“, probably because they don’t give a single fuck about Gfriend and this reunion is more of a reluctant PR inconvenience for them than anything else, fortunately Gfriend have the full song on their own channel. However while it’s great to have Gfriend back, I’m not feeling the song at all which reeks of HYBE throwing their hands up in the air and saying “these annoying fans want a comeback, let’s give them this anime closing credits reject we had in the vault because Gfriend’s better songwriters don’t return our calls anymore”. It would have been on the lower end of average for Gfriend had it been released back in the day.
Sorn – Heartstorm
Why does Sorn almost virtually ignore all her best songs. This song is great and only got a quick-and-cheap video because people literally begged Sorn for it when they heard how good it was. Likewise Sharp Objects was also brilliant but came out of the blue and had almost no promotion at all. Meanwhile Sorn does endless TikToks for all her other songs that are nowhere near as good as these two. Someone tap this girl on the shoulder and give her a heads up damn.
BOYNEXTDOOR – I Love You
Look, now that seems a little forward. We haven’t even been out on a date yet. I’m not sure about this, can I call you back? No, don’t call me, I’ll call you. Thanks.
Fromis_9 – from
Fromis_9 know that their fans are sad because the group broke up, so they’re doing their bit to help you get over your heartbreak by releasing this totally average “goodbye” song to remind you that they weren’t all that good anyway.
Seeun x J – Over U, Goodbye
StayC girls, it’s going down… in mood.
Miyeon – Mavuika: Blazing Heart
A pretty good song let down by generic production, accompanied by a pretty good video let down by no Miyeon (hey she’s not my type but she’s sure popular with readers), for a pretty good game let down by no mouse Y axis invert (pathetic). Mihoyo could do better on several levels here.
M.O.N.T – OMW
That guitar is an Ibanez SA260 series and they’re made in China and Indonesia, meanwhile the bass guitar is a Fender or a Squier and they are made in several places but those companies haven’t had Korean factories since the 1990s. What’s wrong M.O.N.T, don’t you love your country? Tsk tsk.
n.SSign – Love Potion
I shouldn’t have put NewJeans on the Honourable Mentions list, look what I’ve done. This song existing is probably my fault, I’m sorry everyone.
IITERNITI – Wen Moon
“AI is getting better and better”, no it isn’t. Somehow they made it even more creepy than when it was just the AI faces stapled onto some corporate slaves.
ENPHAZE – Ordinary Days
Pure coffee-shop crud, the post-Christmas period are ‘ordinary days’ for k-pop indeed.
Kim Nakyoung – Closer
According to my song submitter this is a “TripleS member AND Bibi’s sister” but the song could have been by anyone. Even the balloon doesn’t look all that into it.
Song Sun – Special Day
Has anyone noticed how TRI.BE have changed their YouTube channel so there’s now an underscore there? It’s a mistake! Don’t do it! Learn from other groups and revert the change while you still can!
Ken – Gradually
What nonsense are they defiling Kim Lip’s missile silo with now. Boys should be banned from this sacred location.
Serri – Seeing You
“Modelling shoot disguised as a music video” is the realm of the nugu and that’s something Serri would know a lot about given that her group has a dancefloor clearer back in the day. I know it because I was DJing at a club and made the mistake of putting on Dal Shabet one time. “This is a good song, wait how did the dancefloor suddenly empty out so fast”…
Kim Jae Joong – Hoper
Scratch what I said about TVXQ in my favourites list, they were always a two member group. Pinky swear.
Lay – Kai Tian
Oh speaking of SM groups with histories that SM themselves would rather pretend didn’t happen, did you know that EXO are possibly getting back together? Not all twelve members, of course not, don’t be silly, just Lay and some of the others. People might think that this is some kind of great healing of the wounds but after listening to this song I actually think it’s Lay trying to sabotage the rest of EXO beyond repair by bringing his awful music in. Go Lay, you can do it!
BOMBING feat. Gwangil Jo – Eternal Flame
I hope Gwangil Jo got his bag for appearing in this nonsense. It took me back to the time when rap legend Kool G Rap did a song with some kid called Grant, which was so embarrasing for everyone involved that I can’t even find the video anymore because it was ruthlessly scrubbed from the Internet.
LEENALCHI – Hihi Haha
In these uncertain times it’s good to know that Leenalchi is as painful as ever.
Kangnam – Yasuo
Not sure of the backstory here as some money was seemingly spent, but I don’t play mid so I don’t care.
Jaemin – Drink
A weird song, it almost sounds like there’s another compeltely different song playing in the background in some parts. Maybe that song’s better, who knows.
Yeil – Who?
That’s enough songs for this week but I just wanted to share this song, because it’s actually called “nugu” so there you go.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Mavuika: Blazing Heart – cover by KOIAI
Okay so here’s how to do it properly. A revved up version of “Blazing Heeart” with much MUCH better instrument playing and actual humans in the video is a good start. Now we’ve just got to get that mouse Y axis invert happening for Genshin Impact – when’s it coming, Mihoyo? People should have taken a much stronger stance on the issue of no mouse inversion when that game came out. Genshin Impact should have gotten 0/10 in every games review publication, and endorsements refused by all advertisers, Mihoyo should have been removed from the global banking system, Mihoyo staff should have had their assets frozen etc. But since we didn’t take that hard stance, it’s set a precedent and now five years after that game came out we still have to put up with no mouse Y axis inversion in other games because “well, Genshin Impact did it, so…” – not acceptable. Anyway, two out of three ain’t bad.
Solar – Ring in the new year | Music for positivity
If you’re feeling down about the prospect of another year and what terrible things it might bring, Solar is here to help you see the sunny side. Or maybe this weird as fuck video will just make you even more anxious, who the fuck knows. As she says, “easy peasy, lemon skeezy”.
Hello Venus – Wiggle Wiggle
I didn’t care much for this song when it came out because it’s pretty much just a beat and little else, but having “just a beat” still puts it about about 99% of k-hip-hop these days (not saying this is a hip-hop song, just that it has a beat better than 99% of them, to be clear for the kiddies who can’t read). It’s also worth noting that everyone complained like fuck back when this video came out, because it was seen to be “exploiting” and “sexualising” these fully grown women (hence the laughably extreme “19” rating for a harmless video that could legally be broadcast in Australia right after children’s TV hour), so agencies took the feedback on board and transitioned to under-the-radar sexy concepts with underage girls instead because people complain a lot less about that. You’d better all start supporting everything Kiss Of Life and Viviz do visually from now on if you ever want to get k-pop back to focusing on adults again.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
No comments:
Post a Comment