It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Naevis – Done
Since it’s a slow week due to the hanbok wearing we have to put up with SM’s latest attempt to float their idiotic “culture technology gosh-we’re-so-high-tech watch us embrace all this energy-sucking technology just because we can” AI monstrosity concepts. Naevis (who looks like Winter’s hairstyle and body with Karina’s head stapled on) certainly manifested herself through the opened P.O.S alright.
NMIXX – Love Is Lonely
Meanwhile NMixx are killing it. JYP has had the good sense to recently dump NMixx’s moronically stupid debut “change-up” bullshit and start giving them actual music.
Karina – Up
Karina’s solo song is pretty drab but at least it brings back nonsensical drama videos, we need more of this in k-pop.
Loosemble – Confessions
This song is pretty generic, we’ve heard this kind of big-bassline thing done a lot lately and this is okay but it doesn’t stand out. Not sure why there’s only three of them, maybe the other two got bored and went to the Chuseok thing.
Baekho feat. Jessi – Nutty Nutty
Less nuts than hyped. I did not nut. Some of you may nut to Baekho though, who seems to be in his “let everyone know I have this tattoo on my chest” era.
RESCENE – New World
People have noticed and have been complaining that a lot of my reviews say “it sounds like [group x] at half speed” but that’s unfortunately the sad reality of the k-pop landscape we live in. I’ll leave you to guess what this would sound like at the proper tempo.
DAY6 – Monster
Day6 have been getting popular lately so it probably doesn’t matter what I write about this, because you’ll like it anyway, so I’d just like to say that I’ll probably release the new Kpopalypse survey this week so you folks can have your say on all of the k-pop things. Expect it fondly!
Onew – Hola!
I’m sorry but your rock is pretty pissweak if people can have a romantic dinner date during it.
Moonbyul – Backpack
BADING! Unfortunately, this also applies to the song.
CATCH THE YOUNG – Wanna Be With You
I have to say that’s the most awkward looking playing of a Flying V I’ve ever seen in a music video. Not only is he lying down (fucking up his wrist) but that guitar looks like it’s about to slide right off and onto the floor.
Xdinary Heroes – Night of Fireworks
I was all ready to drag it for not having much fireworks in the music but then it surprised me by being pacy. I mean it’s not great or anything but this group are starting to get heavier and do more interesting things now, so here’s hoping they can get hte songs right too soon.
DJ Aster feat. BBGIRLS, Firebeatz – 123 Music
It’s nice that BBGirls are still doing stuff but this is the kind of painfully generic music that you really do have to be drunk in the club to forgive.
CNBLUE – Jinseisanka
CNBlue are still around and AOA’s band concept has been absent for like a decade now, where is the justice. Not much of a song but it’s fun watching the drummer play a totally different beat to the one that’s in the actual song.
Hi-Fi Un!corn – Days
More average idol band stuff. Let’s just move on.
A.C.E – Anymore
People often complain about how I sexualise women a lot (because k-pop fans are conservative as fuck and can only see women being sexual as somehow bad or shameful when it isn’t) but if you add up all the times I’ve sexualised women, and then add up all the times I’ve sexualised just one boy group which is A.C.E, I think that A.C.E would actually come out slightly in front of all of those girl groups put together. So to keep up this tradition I’m really disappointed in the lack of legs exposure here guys, I mean come on, I have thirsty readers and you’re letting them down.
JO1 – Where Do We Go
I don’t know but I wish they’d go there.
ASC2NT – Your Echo
Who is this group, I have no idea, but I guess every boy group has to have their “standing around in green areas” video eventually.
ANTARES – Counting Stars
Here’s some nugus for you. What do you reckon the odds are that they’re being forced to do the shittiest things imaginable.
Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra – Boom Boom Bass (Orchestra Ver.)
Well, at least it’s not another botched version of a Red Velvet or aespa song. We have to be grateful for small mercies.
Yein – Dance with me
I got excited by the title – any song with ‘dance’ in it is going to go at a bit of a pace, right? No, unfortunately they mean the type of slow dancing you do at the high school dance. The weirdly heavy beat is something I’d usually like but it doesn’t work here, being pummeled in the face with that bass drum is definitely killing the romantic mood they were going for.
Solji – Night Road in Hannam-Dong
A truly awful ballad that you definitely don’t want to listen to, so let’s have our weekly Asian-but-non-Korean non-pop non-world-music feature here instead – yay! This week it’s Damon and Naomi, two former members of a group called Galaxie 500. Their duo stuff is cool and unique and different for this type of music and I really like Naomi Yang’s bass playing because it’s all high notes and very melodic, it really makes the songs stand out. Music these days seems to be having a “war of lowness” where all guitars need 53 extra low strings and bass guitarists are downtuning to their asses but if you go too low, your notes lack definition. It’s good to hear a bass player go the other way and focus mainly on high stuff. Unfortunately these two are super not ultra popular so they don’t have much in the way of videos, but I just like this song so I put it here.
Vahn feat. Blzken – Feeling
Back to the k-pop and this guy is from Nine.i and his song is… decent actually. You thought I was going to say something nasty didn’t you, well this is actually quite good so stop being so cynical you nasty cynic what’s wrong with you tsk tsk.
Giriboy feat. Camo – Peak
I like this too, not what I expected from Giriboy and it’s just as well.
Han Woo Seok – Freakin’ Alarm
I had high hopes because of the song title but the song’s not all that but LOOK OUT at 0:38 it’s a Shure Super 55 pointed in the correct direction AND it’s even plugged in! Yes, it’s possble! The next thing we know these k-poppers will be singing live for real…
Orckid – EWW!
And again! It’s a double-whammy of people getting it right for once! Stan these nugus seriously.
Bee Bee Tan – Ppippo
Okay so what is the deal with this old-ass male bass player popping up in all these random nugu videos? I need to know.
Do Not Penguin – I Don’t Love You
I’ll leave with this, it isn’t bad and I like the sound of the guitars in it. I also like that they acknowledge that they need a bass player. It must be tough playing in an actual band in Korea, when nobody gives a shit.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Nmixx Lily draws attention for “threatening” a fan’s bullies during fancall
Does reality inspire Kpopalypse fiction, or does Kpopalypse fiction inspire reality? You be the judge!
KPOP ASMR 34 MINUTES, NEWJEANS SOFT TALKING, RUSTLING OF CLOTHES/STATIONERY, GENTLE COMPLAINING ♡ 
Check out this wicked ASMR video I just found. NewJeans really are taking their marketing to the next level with content like this, which should satisfy all of your ASMR lovers. Another big win for Min Hee Jin, recognising the potential for NewJeans to succeed in this field. Note that the camera lens comes off at 2:13 but some of the best ASMR content is before then. It’s as good as that kitty eating that steak, I shit you not.
Laboum – Pit A Pat
I wanted to like this song back in the day but the contrasting sections don’t fit together that well and it’s just too screechy and brassy to really work. It’s a refugee from the days when Girls’ Generation’s “I Got A Boy” was still fresh in people’s memories and people were consistently going for that big, bold kind of sound but with lots of tempo and feel changes that means it’s impossible to get into any one thing too much. No point creating a mood just to keep pouring cold water on it. Fun fact – if you type “igab” into YouTube with no other context, “I Got A Boy” is the top result.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
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